Revisiting tragedy: A letter I wrote to President Obama

I sit in my home office today, gazing at an inbox full of emails ranging from coronavirus updates to PR pitches for touring bands and hand sanitizer companies, finding it hard to get motivated to write something new for work.

I’ve been taking a hot-minute this afternoon to sort through my laptop and re-organize my wild mess of files and ignored projects and rediscovering things that I thought were important at one time for whatever reason. Thumbnails of African masks with obscure labels like “pop-up coffee bar” or PDF lists of mural ideas. Writing prompts and published essays.

I just tripped over the draft copy of a letter I wrote to Obama following Pulse that was published by Orlando Sentinel and felt the need to share. You can see it HERE on their website or scroll through it below.

I got a lot of hate mail for the letter after it was published. I got even more hate mail after appearing on CNN to discuss it with Brooke Baldwin, who made it a piece about me being an angry gay man versus a concerned citizen. I learned a lot during that crisis, namely how to conduct myself in public and that people will find ways to hate you no matter what you say so being authentic to yourself and your convictions is essential.

I’m still trying to find out what the lesson is in this pandemic but maybe there isn’t one yet.

President Obama, welcome to Orlando. We're honored to have you here during this awful time.

Your words of support have fallen on receptive ears this week, as we struggle to find meaning in our day-to-day lives after losing so many valued members of our tight-knit community. Your recent scorn for "politicians who tweet" really struck home. Thank you for being such a solid rock for us to cling to.

But we need more from you:

Orlando residents have had a few days to replace most of our initial shock and sadness with a constant, seething anger. An anger that frightens many of us, myself included. This man who stormed into our lives has shaken us to our core. Yes, our community should be commended for how quickly we have rallied together in the face of this violence — the response has been breathtaking. We're doing everything we can to clean up this mess, but we need you to do the same.

History has shown us that whenever an oppressed group becomes less so, there is always a backlash, and the queer community — the LGBTQ alphabet soup — is uniquely vulnerable to hate attacks. Even with recent strides in gay marriage (thanks, Obama!) and increasing acceptance of LGBT issues in popular culture, we are still being treated as "other," as objects of hate and ridicule. This hate crime could have happened anywhere, but it happened here, as John Oliver said, "At a Latin night at a gay club in the theme park capital of the world."

One man simply had to walk into a store and purchase a semi-automatic weapon, over the counter, like one would if he were ordering a pack of cigarettes at 7-Eleven. A type of gun so accessible that it has been used in multiple shootings across the country: Newtown, Aurora, San Bernadino, and now Orlando.

If children on a schoolyard are hitting each other with sticks, you take the sticks away. Yet, we are living in a society that is encouraging violence, and there is nothing keeping the next Omar Mateen from sauntering down to his corner gun shop to buy his own AR-15. Nothing, except maybe you President Obama — if you act with the agency granted to you by the American people and step in.

In my heart, I want to react to this shooting, labeled as an act of hate, with more hate. My gut is clenched, along with my fists, demanding some sort of answer. Some sort of retribution. Yet even as we all come to grips with the tragedy of losing so many beautiful friends, sisters, brothers and neighbors, we are hearing word that this man, Omar Mateen, may have been gay himself. And I really just feel sick. This young man reportedly joined us, in our safe spaces, possibly seeking answers, to reconcile who he was with what he had been told he was by his parents and his religion. And instead he returned with weapons to kill and to hurt.

I don't know the whole picture, but what I do know is this volatile man was investigated twice by the FBI for possible links to terrorism. That he had a history of violence. And that he was still allowed to legally purchase a weapon that allowed him to open fire on a building full of people. Just the night before, another man was able to walk into a concert venue and shoot a young pop star, Christina Grimmie. In the past few days, almost 100 people have died and more than 200 people have been injured due to gun violence in America, and that doesn't include Orlando.

Hearing you say, "People who are not allowed on a plane should not be allowed to buy a gun" initially made me clap my hands. You're right; they shouldn't. You're also right that there has been more than enough talking about being tough on terrorism. You're one man. You deal with situations like this, I'm sure, on a weekly, if not daily, basis. You seem to be a wise, sympathetic leader. Yet, still no action on guns. As your final days in the White House approach, and we sadly wait for you to leave office, we anxiously wring our hands and wait to see what the next president will do. But you're there now, Mr. President, and we need you to act.

You seem like a good man. So while you embrace the families and friends of the victims of Sunday's shootings, I ask you, how many more American citizens can you look in the face and say, "I'm so sorry for your loss. This never should have happened"?

Stop it from happening. You can do it. You won't have another chance, and neither will the next victim.